As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and Certified Financial Planner, I have seen clients that went through long protracted divorce proceedings, costing thousands upon thousands of dollars only to have an outcome decided by the judge that both husband and wife were unhappy with. Will you be obligated to pay maintenance for life? Will maintenance continue for a few short years to “rehabilitate” to go back/into the work force? Will the division of assets be split equitably on an after tax basis? (Two investments may have a different cost basis, one having gained in value, the other lost but still worth the same in today’s dollars. When the investment with the gain is sold, the net proceeds will be less because of taxes, whereas the other with the loss, has tax advantages.) The judge may arbitrarily decide on a settlement that neither party is happy. In addition, the cost, the length of time to resolution, the inflexibility of scheduling and loss of control is all part of the litigation process. Do you want to roll the dice?
The old axiom used to be, if no one is happy with the decision, it must be “fair.” But what is fair if the long term effects on the spouses and their children produce anger and resentment.
In Collaborative Divorce, a Financial Neutral works with the couples in gathering all the asset, liability documentation and helps to develop post divorce budgets. The decision making as to division of assets, support, property settlements, tax filing is all done as part of a client driven team. The clients are very active in this process and through “modeling” done by the financial neutral can visualize what the future will look like under various scenarios. Reasonableness and understanding of the other’s needs enables a compromise/meeting of the minds not available in litigation or mediation. The team approach works great in developing creative outcomes from the brainstorming process.
What is the relationship you want to have with your “ex” and children? Do you want to be proactive in the process, aided by a professional team, or let your future reside on the “crap” table?